The Fair-Voiced One (musecalliopeia) wrote in pain_n_sobriety,
The Fair-Voiced One
musecalliopeia
pain_n_sobriety

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Cross-posted in a couple places....

OK, OK, OK. I just did something that I'm actually rather proud of, even though it's something I probably shouldn't have done. I mean, technically it was illegal. Though, as I told 3catsjackson last night, it's only illegal if you get caught. ;) [Obvy, that's totally not true, but.... :)]

I needed to go pick up some medication: My doctor had written a scrip for me a week and two days ago, but because it was early [in large part thanks to some asshole who stole/"found"/whatevs my medication when I had to go see Rick a couple Wednesdays ago (he *insisted* on me bringing in the most recent bottles of meds) - basically, when I see Rick's community worker, Hector, I don't have to do that anymore - I've established that: yes, I have a prescription for them; yes, I require them to live anywhere close to a 'normal' life; yes, I have an actual medical problem that disables me to some extent that makes it imperative that I take them.... So Hector 'accepts' that I have prescriptions, and he no longer makes me bring the bottles in. A couple of weeks ago, due to Columbus Day, I was told that I didn't have to go in and see Hector that week. Karen (the woman who actually tests me) told me that I didn't have to come in and test. So I was relieved that I didn't have to go running down to San Jose that week, only to find out (at almost the last minute) that Rick changed his mind and decided he wanted me to come in. And test. "And, oh, by the way, bring in your absolutely most recent prescription bottles." Due to the facts that a) I don't normally go in on Wednesdays, b) I don't normally take my med bottles anymore, c) Morgan was leaving for Hawaii that afternoon, d) I had a job faire to go to, and thus had lots of extraneous crap with me, e) I missed the 9:06 train, so had to call and leave Rick a message that I would be there as soon after 10:30 as I possibly could, f) Rick apparently didn't get the message, and so got pissed at me when I called him from the lobby to let him know that I had arrived (at 10:45)... (plus probably some other factors I can't think of right now) I forgot to empty out the bottles at home, and, in fact, ended up dumping the bottles into a small Ziploc-y-type bag that had held some beads in it, and it got misplaced/stolen/lost/whatever] I couldn't get it. Or, more appropriately, my insurance wouldn't pay for it. And, at almost $5 a pill (and I take 3 pills per day), I couldn't afford to pay for the month's worth on my own. Today is the day that my insurance would pick up the tab. However, when I called at midnight (can't blame a girl for trying), the pharmacist said that my insurance was refusing to cover it yet, and I know that, for some reason, Blue Cross thinks that somewhere around 5 AM is the "ping" time that they'll accept charges on the date of coverage. I don't know why. Maybe they consider midnight to still be the night of the previous date, and 5 AM is morning of the date that they'll cover? I dunno.

ANYWAY.... long story short (I know, too late! ;) ) I needed to go pick up my meds. It was as important as it was not only because I was in a lot of pain and, thus, couldn't sleep, but also because I want/need to go do the whole "hire me!" thing at Spherion today. Morgan had said that he'd go pick it up for me in the morning when he went to the DMV, and I could sleep, but since even three Benadryl weren't letting me sleep, I decided that I really should go pick it up on my own.

Like I said - this is technically illegal: a) I don't have my license yet (thougn I'm a good driver and am ready to take my test), and b) Morgan hasn't registered his car again yet (which is why he's going to the DMV later this morning, so I'll be able to take my test really really soon). If a cop had pulled me over, I'd've been in deep shit. And I can't deny that part of the reason that I'm so proud of how I did because a cop *didn't* pull me over. I *didn't* make any mistakes. Etc. But I needed my meds. And the sooner the better, if I want to go try to get hired in a few hours - I needed some time to let the meds work before I go in.

I got in the car a few minutes til 5. I drove carefully and a couple miles under the speed limit to Walgreens. I added some gas to the tank, since the car was kept telling me that it was hungry, and couldn't I feed it soon. ;) I watched all the cars around me carefully - cars at the side of the road, cars on the road, cars at intersections... I watched carefully to make sure that there weren't any cops who might get bored and start tailing me long enough to discover the lapsed registration. Actually, I had one difficult moment at about the same time that I pulled into the gas station - a black and white was a half a block ahead of me as I turned into the gas station, and it made a U turn and pulled onto the street that formed the east/west border of the station, and sat there with its headlights on. It might have been doing that to make sure that I wasn't going to start any trouble, but it made me nervous. The last thing I wanted was it to pull out after me onto El Camino Real and discover that I shouldn't have been driving the car. :P So I fumbled with the money as I was paying the attendant to stall, and another car pulled into the station. Bingo! The cop could watch the other dude instead of me. I drove in the lane closest to the median, because I figured it would make it harder for any cops parked along the side of the road to get a good look at the license plate.

Anyway, I got my meds and came home the same way - very, very carefully. :) And then, since I'd spilled a little Coke along the center console, I got some paper towels and went back downstairs and cleaned it up.

So there you have it: I went and took care of myself, I drove carefully to avoid any unwelcome attention, I was thoughtful about the car being almost out of gas, and I cleaned up the small mess I made. :) And, in a few hours, after a nap, I'm going to get up, make myself as pretty as possible, and go see if I can't find myself a job to help out with the household finances. :)

Oh, and, BTW... I'm thinking really really seriously about going back to school to get a degree in medical assisting. Any feedback?

P.S. - I think part of the reason I enjoyed this so much is that... Wow, this is bad of me, but... I shouldn't have done it. There's always a little frisson that I experience when I'm doing something mildly naughty.

Addendum: The other reason I did all this, as unlikely as it might sound, is so that Morgan didn't have to deal with it. He becomes stressed when he has to deal with my medication, so I'm trying to take responsibility for that as much as I can, even if it means taking the bus or whatever to deal with it by myself, and not have to ask him for help. It's just that at 5 AM, the buses don't run all that often. And it's dark. And cold.
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